Matt Bellamy

I don't think this flowed very well - some of the lines sounded a little disjointed. I did like the last stanza though and I think if you could rework ...

A couple of things: firstly, the toothless sun, it is a rather strange thing to say. I interpret this to mean it's soft, gentle, not biting, easy to bear. Also, ...

that streaks my conscience. We used to sit here and long at the stars: consider their pretensions, marvel at their aloofness. We knew their destiny lay in ours. Our what? ...

Hello! Let's jump right in. As the moon melts away the last drop of day’s heat, summer slumber no longer beckons. This is great imagery, and a nice start. The ...

Aww, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. Your poem has a lot of potential, however, I think it is difficult to pull off writing in second person. Not only ...

There’s a crown on his head, though it doesn’t sparkle with jewels. The thorns are like fire, and the pain overrules. The second line seems a little long and breaks ...

This: "The little girl that once was me" should probably be "The little girl who once was me". The repetition of "I'm fading faster/Into this disaster" gets a little too ...

"I can't get no help" should be "I can't get any help". "Till" should be until, or "'til". Apart from that, this is good. I like your rhyming scheme, and ...

Some of the lines are a little long and break the flow a little, making it feel slightly less poetic, particularly the third line. "Lovely" isn't very decriptive, what else ...

Hey, I'd like to remind you that everyone should write two reviews by posting their own work. Also...it's not very humble to say that your poem is good in your ...

This is difficult to critique as I'm sure that it will set the mood for a book, something a little Lord of the Rings-esque, I'm thinking. Out of context, I ...

The first stanza doesn't flow very well because the lines are so short. I would suggest changing it into just one or two lines. Also, I don't like that mutilated ...

A couple of nit-picky things - Miles doesn't rhyme with times, and sucking gum sounds weird when it's usually chewed. Oh and it should be around, not round, or 'round ...

“She’s lonely.” And she was – she had no friends. This line is a bit long, and breaks the flow a little since the preceding line was quite short, so ...

This was okay. Your rhyming is a bit off - you start with an AABB scheme, then the second stanza didn't rhyme at all, and the rest seems filled with ...